GKS Contributor
These tidbits of advice are not for females who are happy being THAT girl. Some women strive to achieve the “THAT” status. If that’s the case, congratulations on your success. These dos and don’ts are for women who have become THAT girl because they just didn’t know better. These suggestions are for females who’d like to halt the eye rolls and quiet the sarcastic comments of other Saints fans. After all, we should save all that disdain for the opposing team.
Micro-minis and stilettos
We’ve all seen her. Guys break their necks to stare as she sashays by, feather-boa floating in the breeze. She’s wearing a skin tight tube dress. Never mind that it’s fire engine red and black and we’re playing the Falcons. She leaves every beer-bellied man in a stupor of Chanel No. 5 on her way to the Port-a-Potty. In the Dome she’s teetering precariously on stilettos with as much diameter as a straight pen. She resembles Samara from The Ring, her sexy strut altered into something un-human in order to safely make it down the two-foot Dome steps to her seat without falling.
Don’t get me wrong ladies. I’m all about looking sexy and strutting your stuff. If you’ve got the body, why not? Rock the mini-skirt that hugs your rump in all the right places. Wear the four-inch spiked heels that accentuate your painstakingly toned calves. Allow the drape of your cowl neck shirt to fall just so, revealing the peak of your lady bumps. You’ve worked hard to look that hot, right?
Save it for the bar. Games in the Dome are for Brees and Coleston jerseys, ripped blue jeans, Nikes, face paint and mohawks. It’s football for goodness sake, not ladies night at Metro. There are plenty of places where your little black dress is appropriate. Chugging a 40 out of a paper bag around a makeshift BBQ pit at a tail gate party isn’t one of them. Your sexiest number is wasted once you’re seen crossing your legs in line for the bathroom begging passers by for a square of toilet paper.
You CAN look hot with fleur de lis’ painted on your cheeks, black and gold ribbon in your hair, a Saints tank top and some tight jeans, I promise. And the guys you’re trying to impress may think you know a bit about football. Leave the barely-there outfits to the Saintsations, please.
No related posts.
Wow, this is great. I never expected to read something like this on here! So, what do you wear at games? Haha
Awesome… As much as I enjoy my wife dressing trashy, we both know it’s impractical in the Dome, especially in the footware department, what with all the walking. And ladies, when it’s a nationally telecast prime-time playoff game, leave your “F*** da Eagles” belly shirt at home.
Hysterical and oh so true! Love the article!
Gus,
You are too funny, but then you have always had a sense of humor….must have got that from your dad!
I’m with ya all the way, Gus. There is a time and place for everything. The crazier the black and gold in the dome, the better!